Making Sense

Slipping from the initial bubble of the joy of daily mitzvot, writing a check here and there, sending out condolence notes, helping with a shiva to life as usual. I could put it on writing only weekly, or perhaps I am only writing weekly because of the loss of momentum. Once the easy stuff was done, it was like nothing new out there unless I got bigger and bigger in terms of gestures, heart and caring, which is possible. With the holidays behind us, and some time spent thinking and drafting resolutions, what is next?
I have been mired in the mundane world of fixing appliances and dealing with stuff breaking down or just not being what it should and it seems like the stress and expense of this is effecting my thinking. So I figured it was time to go back to the master list of 613 commandments and see if there is anything that struck my fancy. Instead what struck me was the absurdity of some of the commandments. Is there a point in being charitable and lighting candles but ignoring 89.9% of the rest of it. I'm not even talking about the ancient traditions of wrapping tefillin or observing shabbat. What about he must not eat fresh grapes or raisins in Numbers not far from he must not be under the same roof as a corpse. Somehow I don't put those in the same category. And apparently Astrology is a no-no. Am not sure if reading my daily horoscope counts as practicing Astrology but I would sorely miss the uplifting if inaccurate guidance. There is a reason it is on the comics page, it is not to be taken seriously. But back to the grape thing, I could understand it if this was back in the time of the Temple and the priests were hoarding all the grapes to make their "priestly" wine, but now the last time there was a good reason not to eat grapes was because of the plight of the farm workers who picked them. I remember my Mom had us boycotting grapes back in elementary school in support of the farm workers. But nowadays most of our grapes come from Chili and they fall in the same category of much of our produce, grown in other countries and inefficiently transported here. Ok so it turns out that commandment only applies to Nazarites, and since I am not a Nazarite I am free to eat all the grapes I want, Whoopee! Also it turns out there are really only 77 positive commandments that can be observed today, some of which can only be observed in Israel, some don't apply to women (tefillin), and some only apply to special folks like the Kohanim. So now I have the list of 77 and I can see I still have my work cut out for me. One thing, before things got busy I was taking a few minutes each night after I climbed into bed to say a few prayers, silent wishes to the universe. It was comforting and it is time to start again. Number one on the short list, to believe that there is a G_d. Easier said than done, easier to believe in the power of charity and good works than in a specific spiritual presence. But I'll think about while I eat my grapes and do the crossword puzzle.