Guarding One's Speech

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?  Of course it does!  The premise being that the sound only exists as something processed by our ears at a moment in time.  But the sound was there, whether heard by a human or not, a squirrel heard it, a butterfly flew away, the forest ground shifted in response.  Ants on the ground were smashed.  The damage was done.  Perhaps this is the wrong question.  Because the sounds is only a sign or a symptom of the underlying danger that occurs when a tree falls, a warning for those or perhaps information too late if you are on the wrong path at the wrong time when lightening strikes.  
Similarly if you talk about someone behind their back, whether for good intentions or naught, the concept of this weeks Midda "seyag LiD'varav" guarding or literally fencing your speech tells us that the damage is still done whether or not they ever come to hear the information.  This concept is much broader than the commandment against gossip or the evil tongue.  Even a loving rant about a parent or a child can fill the air with toxins.  
I committed to a 24 hour period of not saying anything unkind to or anyone but ended up feeling like I had gotten trapped in uncomfortable situations that led to using words in an attempt to extricate myself.  It did not work.  My father asked me if my daughter had liked her birthday gift.  I hemmed and hawed.  The gift a round medallion necklace with her name and happy birthday engraved was not what she wanted and not something she would ever wear.  I found myself trying to express this in some way....for no reason really except it was hard to lie effusively.  This is not LaShon Hara, I am speaking directly to someone which is fine but it did not feel good at all.  Earlier in the evening I had been in a tennis clinic, and I found myself making self-deprecatory comments to offset my insecurities about how I was playing.  This does not feel good or productive.  I tried to be silent and just focus on what was in front of me.   All of these feelings, I was not able to have the day that showed the true discipline of guarded speech even though technically I did not say anything unkind to anyone, but with all those feelings I did share a few thoughts with my husband later that day.  Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sleep.  Holding in unkind judgements is a lot like dieting, we know how to do it but it requires tremendous discipline day in and day out, to pass up the bread and butter, the wine etc.  But when we do it, when we stick to it, our spirits feel elevated.  
I am curious to find out how the other folks fared with the experiment.  The great thing is I can always try again tomorrow.    Because what you say matters, each and every day.