Please and Thank-You

I've let an entire month lapse without a posting.  Of course there was 12 days of vacation in there, but the other reason is I had just felt like I reached the end of the road.  Not of doing mitzvot, there is no end of that, but having something new to say about it.  On top of this, a lot of negative feelings, the sort of judgmental "old me" feelings had bubbled up to the surface and like a bad food binge, I just wanted to rant.  To express my frustrations with certain people, organizations and life in general.  It couldn't all be wine and roses, although Paris felt like that most of the time, except for the one night crammed into the hottest corner of a very hot bistro in  July, wearing shoes that were giving me blisters and a light pull over sweater that I was suffocating in.  Sometimes it feels like we try to hard to have a good time.  The best meal of the week, a neighborhood place we walked by everyday on the way to metro, which was always busy, menu was simple but appealing, and despite some language difficulties, it was wonderful.  It is funny how Parisians have a reputation for rudeness in the states, considering all the politeness built into the run of the mill French conversation, please precedes every sentence, if you launch right in with I want, they will look at you in admonishment as if to say, life is too short to not take a few extra seconds for civility and humanity.  Wish I could have carried that quality home in my suitcase.   So I had my rant, and even made some changes, moving over or down depending on  how you look at it to Co-VP Programming of Sisterhood and have let the powers be, that now is not the right time to be Sisterhood President.  Maybe when I either have other things in my live that are making happy, or when I have nothing at all going on so will welcome the myriad opinions, and constantly swirling controversy.   I know when I am doing something that engages me, and that is satisfying and volunteer work in particular should meet that criteria.  Doing the right thing, unless it is something major, like feeding the homeless, isn't reason enough to stick with volunteering.

So I am no longer writing notes, and won't be doing the regular bnai mitzvah presentations and I am so ok about it.  Because I could see that I was starting to get egotistical about it and that is not the point.  Now I get to write notes when I choose to people I know, and I do make more of an effort.  I can gladly volunteer to lend a hand, whether it be driving my parents around or bringing food to someone who is homebound.  And I can extend a smile and a bit of conversation to a stranger.  Saying please and thank-you to the deli clerk or the butcher, because we all deserve to feel appreciated for what we do.  I haven't looked that up, but I believe that that is a mitzvah.