Gemilut Chasadim: the Jew will concern himself with the needs of others, of his people and his world. The Jew must act. The Ten Commandments are not enough....these...are the ways in which we demonstrate that we are kedoshim, reflections of the divine present-ness1
I've been in a bit of a slump since yesterday, but with sunny albeit chilly weather today things should have been looking up. Still I tried to push through, by taking initiative but even
shopping for Yom Kippur items and food did not help. I now have a pair of cheap white canvas sneakers, because one of the commandments for YK is no leather. Of course it is easy to find normal looking high heels that are 100% man-made, probably easier now than finding leather as I have often spent alot of time reading labels at discount shoe stores. But the tradition is for these cloth sneakers or plastic sandals, so my whole approach to dressing is just out of whack. I also bought an off-white lace dress on sale so I can dress for repentant success. So instead of high heels and all black, I'll be there in a white cotton ensemble. We'll see if that matters. But even this purchase did not elevate my mood. Nor did buying a lovely challah and leg of lamb.
What finally did it was calling the help line for my web email provider and fixing a problem I had had for over a year in getting this email in the outlook. It was an easy fix because I had just entered the information (clear as day on the help site) wrong. So I had to call another human being to read a page I already had up on my computer to me. There were several lessons learned there 1) time for a new pair of prescription reading glasses 2) I can get really indignant when I am completely in the wrong. Feeling foolish I thanked the help person profusely. How often and how easily we get annoyed for things that are own fault or within our own capability to fix if we take the initiative.
So now feeling a bit better, I could return my focus of what should be the mitzvah of the day and decided to sign up for a local blood drive. Giving blood seems like it should be a mitzvah because it means you are willing to give of your self for others but just to check did a little research, turns out it is also considered, Pikkuach Nefesh (saving of life) so definitely a good thing. If you want to read a really long explanation of why from a torah point of view donating blood is a good thing, here is another website: http://torahmusings.com/2010/11/blood-donations-according-to-halacha/ I admit I just skimmed it, too much information for me but the gist seems to be that if we can in good health give our blood, we should and that this is something that the Jewish community does embrace. There is alot of discussion on that website about donating only to Jews, which is the kind of ethnocentric point of view which may have helped or hindered survival for our people. For me, this is just not a question. Whomever is in need is my equal. That being said, we can add donating blood to the list of things I have avoided assiduously for years. My rationale was weak, something to do with the potential for pain, difficulty finding my veins in the past, a risk of a mistake, a needle puncture etc. And perhaps there was also a bit of skepticism about the Red Cross which while non-profit also sells a lot of blood and derivatives (such as platelets) which have been donated. But in this case, the blood goes directly to our community hospital blood bank and even if not, if a life is saved or benefits, how is it that I am so worried about a negligible risk to myself, so skeptical that I cannot be generous in spirit like so many others. I had signed up about 5 years ago and then was excluded due to a recent episode of chest pain, and add to it the embarrassment of that, mixed with a secret relief. "Well I tried", that was my moral high ground. So I am now 100% signed up and while a bit nervous (really), am just going to face this hurdle and hope to feel a bit lighter for the blood I gave up at the end.
1Gates of Mitzvah Central Conference of American Rabbis, 1979
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