Friday

The sun has set and the sky is darkening. Time to light the candles (if I still have them) and get off the computer. How about virtual computer candle lighting, there is probably an i-phone app for that! Because isn't mostly about the sentiment, the moment of peace and quiet, the reflection of the flame on your hands.
I wrote a condolence note today, practiced compassionate listening and spent some time on a hike in the local canyon, smiling to as many people as possible, petting dogs etc. But my main accomplishment was what I didn't say. This morning after multiple reminders, my husband locked the door on his way out, thereby locking our cleaning lady out. Luckily I arrived home a few minutes later. My typical instinct would be to text him right away, just to let him know he is getting senile! But how does knowing that help him. Not at all, this forgetting stuff is a pattern, and one that sadly seems to go with aging. He's not an absent minded 11 year old boy who it is hoped with enough nagging and penalties will some day remember his homework. I'm not sure that really worked with our son either, just made him feel bad but at least we aren't the parents who called their son every morning his first year of college to make sure he woke up. At some point we all sink or swim on our own, but my husband is very responsible, he's just getting forgetful, so next time, I can run the risk of insulting him by putting a sticky note on the door or come up with another solution, because critiquing the past is only of value when behavioral change can occur. So new motto for Friday, Be fast to compliment and slow to criticize! Still if I have a glass of wine tonight, it may pop-out. But then do I have to settle the score with all my own "I am such an idiot" moments, hope not. In the meantime, we rise above and hope that keeping my usual commentary internal doesn't result in an ulcer.