Yom Kippur Redux 10/10/2011

Yom Kippur is a mitzvah master class; The recitation of sins and atonements are at their simplest a list in reverse of what you should be doing. Something about a religion that focuses an entire night and day on what you have done wrong, high on the list turning away from G_d's mitzvot, talk about guilt. But like a re-reading of a favorite novel, there is always something new to say or do in the service. I had learned a few days prior that it is a mitzvah to offer a prayer of thanks, either privately or in the synagogue, when one recovers from a serious illness. So when we had the opportunity to have a few moments together as a family in front of the open ark, I convinced my husband that he should do this because of this mitzvah. He was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer last year and we are all thank-ful to have this behind us. We stood there our arms stretched across our children and ourselves, a linear hug of sorts, each one of us with our silent prayers. You can find the Shecheyanu or blessing which he said here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shehecheyanu
wikipedia). It gives thanks just for being there at that moment, because that is enough.

Another new learning for me was the "sin of silence", which I think I am paraphrasing. I spent most of my life believing that it was my actions that determined my "goodness." But there was a place where it explicitly referred to not taking action as a sin. In my outside reading, I found that it is a tenet that the Jew will concern him/herself with the needs of others, of our people and our world. The Jew must act. The Ten Commandments are not enough....these...are the ways in which we demonstrate that we are kedoshim, reflections of the divine presence. So when I read the news and see stuff that bothers me, whether it be CEO pay, endemic obesity, lack of good healthcare, of fair wages, it is not enough to be outraged in my own head or even like some of my loved ones on a Facebook page. Somehow to transition from viewing causes from a mountain across a valley, need to stand on the actual mountaintop and give time and energy. I have always admired those who did but was also a little dubious, not feeling the least bit driven to help my fellow man unless he was standing in my own house or if called upon. I am so far away from being one who embraces this, who stands up to be counted. But I can work on it, find something I care about and do more than write a small check or attend a benefit, have an impact. Well not today, but something to think about tomorrow and for a whole year of tomorrows to come, so that when I hear this prayer next year I will see in myself some change, even a small one.