I started out the day early and in ok spirits. On my morning walk through the crisp air my head cleared and I thought about what more could I be doing with the high holiday season almost upon us. My first thought was to include someone, a stranger even, who had no family in the area to join us for erev rosh hashonah dinner. The mitzvah of hospitality even has a name, hanasat orhim so it has to be a good one, although I have yet to find a list of "named" mitzvot but am working on this. I was already thinking about the menu, and contemplating home made challah. But I knew that I needed to clear this with my spouse, and by the time I had gotten home I started to have some doubts which he echoed. It was just going to be the three of us, and he and my son might not be there "on time." Plus it is a known fact that I get nervous and awkward around strangers and sometimes when I am nervous my cooking suffers. So we agreed to hold off this year, but if a situation presented itself, well it was open for discussion. I know that the path to being a better, more hamish hostess is just doing it more, but there is also something comforting about cooking for those who are closest to you. I will be all alone on the prep, from setting the table, to shining the silver, so we'll keep it small.
So no grand gesture (or at least grand for me), but it got me going a bit and sent of Happy New Years notes to a few folks, just using a nice note card, but one went to my cousin whose mom died this year. At this point, I had had a bit of a set-back on the work front, and was just trying to counter-act my foul mood. It is hard to do good or think good thoughts when you are really, really angry. So I wrote the notes, took a shower, did some productive stuff, and now have written some checks; Torah Fund and Women's League which is something, but these small gestures are no match for my bad mood. I was hoping when I started this process that more mitzvahs in my life would be a kind of antidote to my malaise about other parts of my life (professional) that are not in the best shape. Positive energy begets positive energy, but it only goes so far or perhaps my good deeds are just not big enough to shift the universe. And considering how challenging it is to invite a stranger to my home for dinner, I could be a long way from big gestures.
I just found the list of 613 commandments which is supposed to be the foundation of the mitzvah, except most of it is just stuff not to do and a lot of it requires modern day poetic interpretation to make it even remotely, guaranteeing lifetime employment for scholars since there will never be a true answer. I could not find, you should feed strangers or you should offer hospitality anywhere on this list, although I do know there are many torah moments where good hospitality brings good favor.
Guest or no guest, home-made challah is on the to-list for this year, if it flops there is always whole foods.
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