9/27/2011

Today's tone was set by a flat tire that I caught on my way out the door. These things do happen, and a few hours later, AAA and the great guy's at Americas Tire, I am back on the road. It threw a bit of a wrench in my plans to make it to the West side, but no matter shagged a round raisin challah at Gelson's and some Rugelach too. Buying these things puts a smile on my face as I know the holiday is just around the corner and I will be here with family and friends tomorrow evening and I look forward to it. Observance of religious rituals is a mitzvah, and one that is at the heart of what it means to me to be a Jew. Still other than some early cooking later today, no good deeds on the agenda, so finally made my donation to Friends of the LA River. I've been talking about this for years and applauding the groups efforts from the sidelines but finally stepped forward with my small donation. Another thing I have been doing is not rushing, letting folks go first at the supermarket that have a baby and one item or at least not racing to be the first to the cashier. As someone who has been rushing since birth, this is a small but significant change. So I was kind of taken aback when as I was entering Gelsons, an intense young woman in yoga outfit practically ran into me with her cart, I stepped aside and blew past me with a look of "watch where you are going" I'm not sure what the rules for pedestrians vs cart right of ways in a sliding door area are, but I'm pretty sure that exiting doesn't trump entering. I just thought that it seemed like such a silly thing to get upset about. Of course, I have lots of time on my hands now that I cancelled my west side appointments but I am pretty sure all the seconds I have saved over the years jumping to the front haven't gotten me anywhere special in life.
Tomorrow is Erev Rosh Hashonah Prep, will be in full food prep mode, table setting etc. Am sure to forget something, but will keep an eye and ear out for mitzvah opportunities.

9/26/2011 Delivering the Plants

Each year our temple has plants delivered at New Year's to congregants who are either ill, recovering or grieving. Last time I did it a few years ago, it was kind of embarrassing. Most folks did not really expect it or did not view themselves as still in need of this gift. But since then we had received on ourselves, the year my father-in-law passed away. It had been months since the actual death, but it was still a nice gesture and much appreciated. So this time I vowed to be more relaxed and more willing to engage. The other thing that helped me, is that as the writer of "sunshine notes" for my sisterhood, I knew that both the deliveries were folks who had some major set-backs, but not having the information on hand I couldn't exactly remember what. I had the vague idea that one person had a son die in an unexpected way. The other I remembered had a mastectomy, at least that is what I thought. Since they had received a card with my signature, I figured there might even be a vague memory of me although I wasn't pushing this since I wasn't sure enough to say the appropriate thing, like sorry for your loss, or hope your recovery is going well. Both folks answered the door in the early afternoon on a Monday and both were delighted to receive the plants. I asked them both about their plans for services and found that one was blowing the shofar but he told me he wasn't sure he would have the lip power. It was only after returning home and looking it up that I discovered he had a stroke in July, just barely a month after his son's passing. His cheerful demeanor and continued participation is inspirational. At my next stop I noticed the beautiful plantings on my way up, but also the jam-packed front porch. The sign said ring bell three times which I did, although it seemed odd. The woman who greeted me was thrilled with the plant and invited me in for a cup of coffee. I didn't quite feel ready for that...I am working towards it but did come in the house. What an amazing place and person. She is a musician, in two orchestras and the house has two pianos, a drum set and a full set of timpani in an adjoining room. I'm not really sure where you would sit for coffee, definitely not in the living room. But she was a delightful person and she gave me a big hug when I left which I wondered then if I was correct about the mastectomy (I was). She is also participating in services, in the choir. When I got home I realized that her ex-husband had passed away in June. At the time, not knowing her it seemed awkward to write a condolence note to someone about their ex-husband, it was a first for me but now I am glad I did it. I feel my mitzvah today introduced me to two great people, who have bounced back from tremendous difficulties with aplomb. Definitely an inspiration.
So perhaps it was the good karma the plant deliveries created, but the butcher at Whole Foods sold me the brisket at the normal grass fed price of $8.99/pound which he thought was a big discount....because of some reason related to not having the sign. Hard to believe that is a bargain, my ancestors made this cut of meat because it was economical, so go figure. Next year, it may just be a roast chicken or turkey.

9/23/2011 Shabbat

This is my first shabbat since starting to write about mitzvot, and my first thought is I've got this one covered as I am going to temple tonight. It is the 90th birthday of a congregant and her twin sister...how cool is that, plus the cookies will be awesome. Also today is Selichot, which until a few seconds ago I didn't know how to spell or that it was the recitation of repentance prayers....ok so maybe not such a party, but clearly a good thing to do and get my mind in line for the big holidays coming up. I have also decided to have a sort of real shabbat at home, the sort of coming from eating leftovers, not having challah or kosher wine, driving to temple, using lights, cooking, cleaning or whatever. I am 100% Jewish but my practice is more like 10%. So a few small steps, plan to polish the silver candlesticks I got from my grandmother who did celebrate shabbat every week, probably even when she was hiding from the Nazis and even when they were new immigrants with next to nothing. Growing up it was all the beautiful silver in her cabinet that entranced me, kiddush cups, candlesticks and spice boxes. I know now that adding beauty to the rituals is a mitzvah in itself (although I can't find it in the list of 613 commandments of which there is a long list of sexual no-nos such as sleeping with your sister which I would have hoped was a no brainer). So despite all the other circumstances, the things I lack, the empty house, the not so traditional leftovers, I will spend a few minutes polishing candles and putting flowers on the dining room table say the blessings and then go to temple, ready to repent, repent, repent.

9/22/2011

I started out the day early and in ok spirits. On my morning walk through the crisp air my head cleared and I thought about what more could I be doing with the high holiday season almost upon us. My first thought was to include someone, a stranger even, who had no family in the area to join us for erev rosh hashonah dinner. The mitzvah of hospitality even has a name, hanasat orhim so it has to be a good one, although I have yet to find a list of "named" mitzvot but am working on this. I was already thinking about the menu, and contemplating home made challah. But I knew that I needed to clear this with my spouse, and by the time I had gotten home I started to have some doubts which he echoed. It was just going to be the three of us, and he and my son might not be there "on time." Plus it is a known fact that I get nervous and awkward around strangers and sometimes when I am nervous my cooking suffers. So we agreed to hold off this year, but if a situation presented itself, well it was open for discussion. I know that the path to being a better, more hamish hostess is just doing it more, but there is also something comforting about cooking for those who are closest to you. I will be all alone on the prep, from setting the table, to shining the silver, so we'll keep it small.
So no grand gesture (or at least grand for me), but it got me going a bit and sent of Happy New Years notes to a few folks, just using a nice note card, but one went to my cousin whose mom died this year. At this point, I had had a bit of a set-back on the work front, and was just trying to counter-act my foul mood. It is hard to do good or think good thoughts when you are really, really angry. So I wrote the notes, took a shower, did some productive stuff, and now have written some checks; Torah Fund and Women's League which is something, but these small gestures are no match for my bad mood. I was hoping when I started this process that more mitzvahs in my life would be a kind of antidote to my malaise about other parts of my life (professional) that are not in the best shape. Positive energy begets positive energy, but it only goes so far or perhaps my good deeds are just not big enough to shift the universe. And considering how challenging it is to invite a stranger to my home for dinner, I could be a long way from big gestures.
I just found the list of 613 commandments which is supposed to be the foundation of the mitzvah, except most of it is just stuff not to do and a lot of it requires modern day poetic interpretation to make it even remotely, guaranteeing lifetime employment for scholars since there will never be a true answer. I could not find, you should feed strangers or you should offer hospitality anywhere on this list, although I do know there are many torah moments where good hospitality brings good favor.
Guest or no guest, home-made challah is on the to-list for this year, if it flops there is always whole foods.

9/21/2011

First of all, my apologies to the real daily mitzvah blog. A more prudent person would have searched for competing blog titles before embarking on this. I only did it after the fact when I thought changing my url from my prior complain about the world blog title "gimme a break" would make sense. So I now know just how many mitzvah themed blogs there are. The other daily mitzvah does what it says, lists events of note on a daily basis for those inclined to do good and needing a nudge in the right direction. It looks like a very successful blog and a good idea. My idea is so much smaller and personal. I doubt that anyone will ready my blog at all unless they stumble upon it by mistaking. So Sorry! If I can come up with a better name than I will. As for changing the URL that will also have to wait. I am such a novice that just getting to this page and writing something every day is enough learning and practice for me.
Speaking of practice, the whole intent here was to practice mitzvah, or a kind of mitzvah friendly attitude, till it becomes a habit. It is too early to jump to any conclusions. Yesterday's new request for money came from the Los Angeles Mission. As for my baking for shiva, it did not come out great, but brought it anyway, it is hard to feel good when you are embarrassed by your baked goods. So even here, in the world of nice gestures, my competitiveness and insecurity come forward. But I do think that I am working harder to say thank-you, and to greet people with warmth and be a good listener, and that is all ok.
Had a great talk with my mom today, she shared that the cans of pate that she carried back from Spain weren't all that tasty. I shared my disappointing baking outcomes. We both felt better.

9/20/2011

I have just hammered out a bunch of work and am off to bake a zuchinni bread for a shiva at a friends house.  Bringing baked goods is a tradition, but baking is even better.  In searching on shiva baking mitzvah, found someone else with a similar blog idea (of course) who is already written a book as well.
http://1000mitzvahs.org/2011/02/24/mitzvahs-arent-fun/
In her case, she had a quantitative target of 1,000 and a reason, mourning the passing of her father.  It took her two and  a half years and each mitzvah was turned into a story.  Of course, in my less patient view of this you could easily whip out 50 mitzvahs a day particularly if you start blessing everything (the bread, the wine, the food, the toilet (really there is a blessing for after going to the bathroom))  so at that hyper mitzvahed rate you could reach the goal in 20 days!  Of course documentation would be challenging, takes longer to write about then do some of these.  As with so many things in Judiasim, there is room for interpretation.  If you ritualize mitzvot, does it cease to be special and just become rote (like blessings)? 

 As for upping my personal mitzvah count, I worked hard at stopping at four way stops and saying hello to everyone on my morning count.  These small kindnesses could add up, but then felt like I blew it all away by honking at a vehicle that decided to just stop at in the middle of a green light at a busy intersection; that plus driving by the grizzled guy with the homeless sign outside the target parking lot, it was harshing my good vibes (to pull a phrase from the 70s).  It seems every day brings myriad opportunities to send checks or volunteers, each one poses potential for good doing.  But now at least I am trying to think about these events, not just view them as annoyances.  I researched the Walter Hoving home, and based on what I learned passed on writing a check.  I read the thank-you letter carefully from Planned Parenthood trying to remember if I already gave them money.  I had, but they had cleverly thought of asking for more with the thank-you.  And when my  husband "stole" the front page while I was getting a hot cup of tea, I kept my annoyance to myself.     I really did not expect or wasn't cognizant of how many opportunities to extend kindness or contribute to the greater good there were sitting on my doorstep, in my mailbox, email or phone machine each and every day.  So maybe this isn't just about doing more..it is about making choices that begin to deepen my own understanding of what I care about it and how I want to live my life.  Something to think about while I'm sifting flour.

9/19/2011

Maybe it is the approaching high holidays or just a nagging sense of life not being as good as it could be but when last weekend's bnai mitzvah spoke about practicing mitzvahs it really resonated. Doing good doesn't necessarily come naturally and isn't always felt to be necessary. Each person walks this path in their own way, but I had the thought for sometime that I should do more. Sometimes this was the guilt of not answering the nightly calls for money from Doctors without Borders among others. The feeling of resentment towards the solicitors for various causes that set up tables outside my local Ralphs. The requests for money at a time that worrying about money is a constant mantra in my life seemed never ending and I felt that the more I turned a way, the harder my heart was. So I wondered, could I each day do small mitzvahs as practice that would lead me to a different place, perhaps one of greater clarity about what I do and don't do. The goal of this blog is to do just that and then talk about it.
It is just past lunch on a Monday and already I have a number of choices to make. I have been asked to usher during high holiday services which I am not sure I want to do. I have a flyer from the Walter Hoving Home sitting on my kitchen counter which I am not sure what to do with. I have already agreed to deliver plants prior to the high holidays to those in need of healing but that is for another day, and I am dropping off stationary so someone else can write thank-yous for our Sisterhood. Is doing something courteous that takes you a bit out of your way, and burns gas, is that truly a mitzvot?

According to Wikipedia, yes! The meaning is quite broad ranging from commandments and laws that are captured in writing to just something as basic as a human kindness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitzvot
Under these guidelines, I could work up to a mitzvah a minute! Open doors, let cars cut in front of you, think about God, say a prayer and call your parents! But it also seems like Talmudic scholars have argued (big surprize there) about how intentional mitzvot should be, in other words if you are thinking about it in a sort of look at how good I am way, it defeats the point. Perhaps getting the list of 620 commandments and working may way down the list (like that TV show Earl) is just too structured, although it's tempting. So for now we are going free form and trying different things, and see if I can get to something, some place that matters.